The B-Team Ep. 2: Mona

Diamond City, at Mona's Pizza.  Owner of the pizzeria, Mona, speaks to a Monty Mole representative of a neighboring pizzeria business, Monty Mole's Pizza Hole.

Monty Mole: Listen here, Mona, you and your pizzas are gonna stay out of our way.  Got it?

Mona: What your doing is not fair!  My pizzeria was here first.  You can't push me out of business just because you say so.

Monty Mole: I don't, but my boss, Mandryll Mole, says otherwise.  You've got 24 hours before we bury your entire  restaurant underground, got it?

Mona: And what if I refuse?

Monty Mole: Then the consequences will be dire. (burrows away) See you tomorrow...

Mona: Ugh!  This is the third threat I've gotten this week, and it's only Monday.  Darn it... what am I gonna do?  They sound serious...

Mona walks back into her office to figure things out. In one of the booths eating a pie of Pepperoni and Bacon Pizza, the B-Team overhears the entire conversation.

Boo: Waitress, I want more Dr. Koopa!

Shy Guy: Hanni-Boo, didn't you hear that?

Boo: What I hear is nobody getting me more Dr. Koopa.

Dry Bones: Don't you think Mona needs someone that she can hire to rid the Monty Moles from running her out of business?

Boo: Meh, let her call the Powerpuff Girls.  Besides, I hate girls.

Goomba: 'Ey, you ain't looking at the big picture here.  We save her restaurant, and we get free pizza for life!  I pity the fool who passes up that opportunity-

Boo: Did you just say, "Free Pizza.... FOR LIFE?! (bursts into Mona's office) YOU just hired the B-Team!

Mona: Aahhh!  A ghost!

In 2007, a group of Mario series characters dressed up as 80's T.V. characters and went trick-or-treating.  They promptly returned home with 4 bags of candy and played video games.  Today, still wanting more candy, they survive as soldiers of stupidity.  If you have a problem, if no one else wants to help you, and if you can't find anyone better, maybe you can hire...The B-Team!

Boo as John "Hanni-Boo" Smith"

Shy Guy as Face/Faceman

Dry Bones as "Howling Mad" Murdock

and Goomba as B.A. Baracus

Theme song parady ends with Boo crashing a jeep into the side of Bowser's Castle.  Boo whistles innocently away as Bowser gasps his wreched wall.

The back room of Mona's Pizza.  Mona and the B-Team consult on a plan to rid Mona's Pizza of the Montey Moles.

Goomba: It's easy, we ruff them up to next Tuesday.  End of story.  Where's my free pizza?

Dry Bones: I don't think that's enough.  We need to scare them away from Diamond City for good.  Any thoughts?

Goomba: Easy.  We ruff them up to next Tuesday-

Dry Bones: Goomba- (Boo smacks the backside of his head) Hey!  I mean, B.A....

Goomba: LET ME FINISH!  We ruff them up to next Tuesday.... with hammers!

Shy Guy: I get it, it's just like a big game of "Whacka Mole."

Boo: Good thinking, boys.  We've got three hours before the moles return.  Mona, where are the hammers?

Mona: Uh... all I got are Squeaky Mallots.

Shy Guy: It's official... we're doomed.

Boo: Not so fast, Face.  We still have Plan B.

Goomba: Hold the phone.  I thought they said, "There is no Plan B."

Boo: Now we wouldn't be the B-Team without a Plan B, now would we?

Shy Guy: Are you sure about this?

Boo: I'm the leader of the B-Team, and what I say goes.  When Plan A doesn't work, we go with Plan B.

Mona: (face palm) This is going to be a disaster.

Three hours later, the Monty Moles, led by Mandryll Mole, arrive at Mona's Pizza to take it out of business.  The B-Team stand ready at the front door.

Monty Mole: Mandryll, there are some minions outside of Mona's Pizza.

Mandryll Mole: So?  Bury them with the pizzeria.  My business will flourish throughout the Mushroom Kingdom and Diamond City.

Monty Mole: Yes, sir!

The Monty Moles burrow their way toward the B-Team.  As the Monty Moles come closer, each of them pull out a Squeaky Mallot and prep for Whacka Mole.

Boo: Ready..... and WHACK!

Monty Mole 1: Here I- (Goomba bonks him) Ow!

Shy Guy: Mio! (swings his mallot like crazy) Stay away from me!

Monty Mole 2: Ow!

Boo: Keep it up, team.  We've got 'em.

The B-Team continue to bonk each Monty Mole as they come up.  Mandryll Mole becomes furious.

Mandryll Mole: You.....!  Gah!  Send every Mole we've got.  I will not be denied!

Monty Mole 3: Yes, sir!

Dry Bones: There's to many of them.  I can't keep up.

Goomba: This ain't easy, even without hands.

Boo: Good point.  It's time for Plan B.

Goomba: Finally.  What's the plan?

Boo: Step one, you boys keep this up while I go start up Plan B. (vanishes) Later!

Shy Guy: WHAT?!

Goomba: YOU STINK! (hits three Monty Moles) Bleh!

Mona: (steps outside) Uh, guys, where did the Boo go?

Shy Guy: Go back inside, Miss Mona. (hits another Monty Mole) Everything's fine.

Mandryll Mole: (pops up behind the B-Team and in front of Mona) Time to bury the hatchet... and everything else.  Any last words, Mona?

Mona: Oh, no!

At that moment, a pirate ship appears out of nowhere and crashes right through Mona's Pizza.  The pirate ship points its cannons at the Monty Moles.

Mandryll Mole: What the?!

Boo: (jumps to the wheel) I stole a pirate ship!

Mona: THAT'S PLAN B?!

Dry Bones: I should have known he'd try something like this.

Boo starts firing the cannons at the Monty Moles.  One by one, the Monty Moles run away from the pirate ship.

Mandryll Mole: Aaahhh!  These guys are crazy! (runs away) Keep this dump!  I never want to see you freaks again...!

Boo: (jumps down and chuckles) Nyeh, heh, heh, heh!  That did the trick.

Shy Guy: Hurray!  We scared the Monty Moles away from Mona for good.

Goomba: And more importantly, we get all the free pizza we can eat.  Bring on the pineapple!

Dry Bones: Uh, guys.... we might not get that considering... we just destroyed Mona's Pizza with Plan B.

Boo: Oh, yeah.... Nyeh, heh, heh, heh.  We really trashed the joint.

Two hours later, Mona sits on a folding chair sipping a glass of lemonade.

Mona: B-Team, I do want to thank for saving Mona's Pizza.  I'll give you all the pizza you can eat for free.... as soon as you rebuilt Mona's pizza.

The B-Team works together to rebuild Mona's Pizza brick by brick.

Goomba: Bleh, who needs this dump anyway?  The Pizza Hole has much better pizza, and they have arcade games. (Boo bonks him with a squeaky mallot) Bleh?!

Boo: Shut up, B.A.